We Had a Row

Bob and I had a row the other day - so stupid - all me - my fault. I get my feelings hurt (sounds like I'm two years old) when he is snippy or short with me. Everyone has a right to be grouchy or snipey, or frustrated, etc. I get my feelings hurt and I punish, NOT always, but enough that it needs to change. He was mad because I was punishing him for being short with me. I made a comment about something meaningless and he shot back with a remark that jabbed. So I proceeded to try doing everything all by myself (basically punishing him by saying that I don't need him or his - help that I can take care of myself). I clearly cannot because I have the use of only one leg.

When Bob is mad he raises his voice. He doesn't yell. His voice just carries. I mean, he IS Italian. He even has a shirt that says, "I'm not yelling; I'm Italian." He also uses a lot of hand gestures, mostly pointing to himself and at me. I find this to be sometimes, no, I always find this to be intimidating. Anyway, I usually just capitulate and cower. I'll say, "I'm sorry and it will never happen again." Then I sound like I'm in second grade.

https://youtube.com/shorts/_wXjQCEwjEs?feature=share Follow this link for a demonstration of the Italian arguing stance. Ha Ha

The truth is...he is absolutely correct in this instance. I blew this into something it should never have been - most simply because I'm exhausted, pain pill tired - dragging my painful leg around and using muscles that I never knew I had and doing a push up every time I move the walker and then my body forward - tiny step by tiny step.

I really am so sorry and I really will do my best to not let it happen again.

Dragging my leg around reminds me of how selfish and self-centered I can sometimes be and it reminds me of my lovely sister-in-law, Jackie. I won't go into too much detail, respecting her privacy. She has multiple sclerosis. She was diagnosed more than 20 years ago. If you don't know anything about M.S. It is a horrible disease. It is not a terminal illness, but it is painful and robs the person of their mobility. Jackie is a beautiful woman. Her smile could light up NYC. She is literally the sweetest, kindest person I know. She has lived her life with M.S., without complaint and while many others would have been confined to a wheelchair, she powers through with such a wonderful attitude. She is really quite inspiring.

One day, I walked into their home and she was on the floor. I said, "Oh Jackie, can I help you up?" She calmly retorted, "No thank you. I'm cleaning the floor. How else am I supposed to do it?" Wow, right? She drives and now has a lift to carry her motorized scooter. We could all learn a lot about the power of determination and having a strong will to overcome obstacles and just keep going.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Multiple_sclerosis Follow this link to learn more about M.S.

I have two more weeks of no weight bearing on my left leg. I can do this. Whenever it gets hard or I get a cramp in my right butt cheek, I will think of Jackie and take the inspiration.

I love you Jackie. You are the sister that I never had. There isn't anything I wouldn't do for you, although I know you can do anything and everything you want to.

Jackie and my brother, Terry